New Years Eve

So Happy New Years Eve... I have finally made it to my first goal in this pregnancy. I wanted to make it safely to December 29th because that was when I got into my second trimester. Miscarriage rates are much much much lower now. something like 3% I believe, compared to like 50%!!! So I'm very happy for that. I was going to say that my morning sickness wasn't getting better. However yesterday and today so far I have been pretty good. I only really had one time yesterday when I felt it come on and it was when I was VERY hungry. In the beginning of this week, I was getting so hungry all the time I felt like I was eating constantly... the last couple days my appetite has settled and I hardly feel hungry unless it's been a few hours. So I guess I could say I'm feeling better. I do get some back aches now when I feel the "growing pains". Hehe thats what I call it when I can feel baby stretching my uterus.

Best thing EVER: On Monday was the first time I felt the baby move (well and noticed it). Monday afternoon or evening I felt a teenie little butterfly feeling in my tummy, VERY lightly. Then at 4:30am on Tuesday I felt a tiny little light nudgie feeling in there. It was simply the most amazing feeling I have ever felt and I wish so much that I could share it with Jon but it's all inside right now... cant feel it outside yet. I have felt the butterfly feeling again on Wednesday but havent paid attention to see if I have felt it really again. I know in the next few weeks as the baby gets a few inches bigger, I will be able to feel it much more. I cant wait!!!

Well I went yesterday to have my 3 hour Glucose Tolerance Test done. I probably wont hear anything about it until Monday because a lot of offices (including mine YAY!!) are off work today. I have an appointment on Monday too and I'm going to go this weekend and get a mini tape recorder so that I can take it with me to hear the baby's heart. Jon has to work and is unable to come with me. I wish he could, but getting the overtime at work is more important right now. We're really trying to save all the money we can. Although I have been thinking about it and I think I might want to save up some big chunks of money and pay off the credit cards so that we arent paying close to $200 a month in payments for those. Thats a bit of money we really dont NEED to spend. I have been doing my best to try to work out getting rid of all the "unnecessary" bills and payments we make each month. I hope that I can do it, because I am dead set on staying home with my child and raising it. I was raised in a single parent home for more of my life than I care to remember. I am proud of my mother for doing everything she had to do to keep us in a good area and a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. I'm not saying anything bad about that. I think my childhood might have been different and I wouldnt be so messed up mentally if my mother could have stayed home to raise us kids. I'm sure if my parents would/could have stayed together she would have been able to or at least been home more often. My poor mother worked 3 jobs at one point so we had enough money for the things we needed and wanted. She did as good a job as she could with the resources she had available. I don't blame her for doing what she did at all! She had to! I just want to be there to raise my son or daughter because I don't have faith in babysitters these days nor daycares! They are scary! Plus I really dont want someone else spending majority of the time with my child and basically raising my child.

Anyway, geesh, I guess I got off on a rant a bit there huh? Anyway, lets see if there is anything else I wanted to write about... Oooo yes! The baby already got a present for Christmas from Daddy (Jon). It's very first present is a blue stuffed elephant. It's kinda big, going to be bigger than the baby when it's first born, but it'll grow into it hahaha. Anyway, it's a bright blue elephant made of this spandex type material and it must have styrofoam little balls in it. It is very soft and stretchy and I really like it a lot. I'm sure baby will LOVE it too.

Anyway, thats about it. I'll do my best to write a bit more often... I have been lazy the last week.

Christmas Eve

Happy Christmas Eve! Yay me! Anyway... it's Christmas eve and I wish I could say it felt like the holidays or even that I was excited about it. So I did get in touch with the Dr finally and they want me to do a 3 hour GTT because my sugar was high when I did the 1 hour one. I was supposed to do it yesterday, but I got a cold and didnt want to sit there for 3 hours and be all miserable. I rescheduled for next Thursday Dec 30th.

So remember I was crying for a week and having a very rough time? Well I have attributed that to the fact that my hormones were changing. The last couple weeks was when the baby's placenta was taking over hormone production. I can only imagine thats what was making me go nutty like I was. I'm still very emotional and cry a lot but it's getting better.

I stopped taking the progesterone suppositories this past Monday. Monday night was the last one I took and so I'm hoping the placenta took over and is doing what it is supposed to be doing. I'm worried about it and I want to call the Dr and ask if I can come in and have everything checked out to make sure it's all going ok. I have my appointment in a bit over a week but still might ask. I hate worrying so much when it's unnecessary. So since stopping the progesterone, I thought maybe my face would clear up, but it hasnt. I think it has actually gotten a bit worse. I'm hoping that it's just going to take a bit because I'm really broke out bad since I get pregnant. I still have morning sickness, it hasnt let up like everyone says it supposed to. Maybe next month when I'm actually into my second trimester for a couple weeks it will settle down. Other than that the only other thing that is getting to me is this cold. My head and nose are all stuffy and I'm coughing a bit. It's hard cause everytime I sneeze or cough hard I pee myself. I think baby is moving up and off my bladder because I'm not peeing quite as much as I was. I still pee often enough though. I'm also peeing a lot more as well because baby's organs are working now, including bladder and kidneys! :) It's so amazing to think about this little miniature human being inside of me. Baby is about 2.5 inches now but has all the working pieces and parts of a real person. By the end of January the baby will be big enough to fit in the palm of my hand... I just cant wait til I can feel it in there and see my belly getting bigger. Right now I just dont notice it. I mean my pants are tighter and everything, but I really want to see it.

Oh yeah, I was having dreams for a couple days and in the dreams baby was a girl. I wonder if thats a sign that it is a girl or if it's really a boy and my mind is playing tricks on me. I guess we'll see how things go. I was hoping that by the next appointment we would be able to find out if it is a boy or girl, but I will only be about 14.5 weeks. It says it's usually about 16-18 weeks when you can actually see what baby is. So we may end up having to wait til the next appointment in the beginning of Feb. I think I will be about 19 weeks then... Feb 9th is my half way point! 20 weeks... I'm glad December is going by so quickly, I'm not realizing the time going by. I mean I was just 10 weeks not too long ago and I'm already past 13 now... I just hope the rest goes by at a nice pace. Not so fast that I miss anything, but fast enough that I get to meet my baby!

Doctor Calling...

Well talk about hormones!! Good lord! I have been crying for most of the day for the last three days. Not fun at all, I tell ya! It's been very rough for me thatlast few days. I'm assuming that the reason my emotions are flaring is because myhormones are adjusting and fluctuating. The Dr says that somewhere between last week and next week my placenta is forming and taking over production of progesterone for the baby. So I finally get to stop taking my suppositories this coming Wednesday, I hope, so thats at least one good thing.

I went on Thursday for all those blood tests and my 1 hour Glucose Tolerance Test. Then we left and went away Thursday and didnt get home until Friday evening at about 7pm. When we got home there were two messages on my answering machine from the Dr's office telling me to call them. I'm just worried now and wondering why they are calling and what the problem is. Kinda doesnt help with the mental issues I'm already having. I think the therapy is working for me too but it's a pain in the ass when I cant stop thinking about all the terrible things that have happened to me and how my mother was screwed up herself and made me the messed up person I am. It really scares me to think that I could (and more than likely will) screw up my child. I feel like I am going to be a failure... ah well... anyway, We are going to New York City on Monday and Tuesday so I will have to call the Dr from my cell to see what they wanted to talk to me about. I just wonder if my hormone levels or my sugar levels are all out of whack. We'll see though!

Ewww I puked again!

Ugh!! Today has been nuts... first of all I puked again on Saturday morning... the morning sickness is still here and isnt easing up yet! Today I'm very hormonal... emotional and everything... Jon says that maybe because the placenta is forming and starting to take over making some of the hormones, thats why I'm getting more hormonal. I've been having some stretchy pains right in the middle of my lower abdomen too today.

Other than that, we had our first appointment with our new OB and they are saying I have "Pre-Gestational Diabetes"... YAY me! I have to go Thursday to have a one hour Glucose Tolerance Test and a bunch of other blood work done too. The appointment went well I guess, it was a lot of medical history stuff and family history stuff too. Not much else other than a physical and pelvic exam. I cant wait to see the baby at our next appointment in January. I'll be 15 weeks then when we go and we might get lucky enough to see the sex of the baby then!! That would be great!!!! :) Well I'm off to watch some tv and lay down.